Curb your enthusiasm

9 Aug

This post has nothing to do with the popular TV show of the same name. I’ve actually never seen that show. Sorry.

I want to take a minute and write about something that’s plaguing our society: exclamation points.

I love passionate people. Like, I think there should be at least one or two things in the wide, wide world that get you really excited or mad or at least thinking. One time my sister dated this guy who was not excited about anything. Literally, nothing. He was super dull and I didn’t trust him. It doesn’t matter if it’s sea mammals, your job, your semi-cute kids, the Kardashians or George R.R. Martin’s novels, get pumped about something.

When you’re really fired up, feel free to use a few exclamation points. Feel free not to use them ALL THE TIME. Like, every sentence of every text, status and email. You would never physically write that many exclamation points, it would feel silly. Why does it feel ok to type them? Is it too easy to hold down the key? Too hard to find the period key? Are you scared people will think you’re being sarcastic?

There is one person I am friends with on Facebook, but don’t know super well. He’s a dude my age-ish, let’s say 23. He is out of control. He hands out exclamation points like those flavored tootsie rolls at a parade. Every sentence. Maybe he’s a super happy person, but maybe he just overuses exclamation points. Sorry bro, I unsubscribed.

Sidebar, why do exclamation points seem feminine? Does anyone else get this vibe? Tell me if this sentence feels a little weird: “I just replaced my carburetor this morning! Can’t wait to throw some steak on the grill and watch football with the boys!!!” I know that this is sexist, but I’m being honest. Your exclamation points totally make your status look like a 14-year-old girl has your Facebook password.

Unless you had a baby, won a gold medal or are intoxicated, tone down the exclamation points.

Here’s some good examples of using exclamation points appropriately:

I love oreos soooo much!!!!!!

Can’t wait for the game tonight. Go Cards!

Happy birthday!

Meet me at Harpos!!!!!!!!!

I made the cheerleading team! Practice tomorrow after school.

I got a puppy for my birthday! He’s the cutest.

Ok, so maybe I’m a little biased toward the content, but use sparingly, people.

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