Wedding Crasher & Meatloaf

11 Jun

Everyone, I have a confession. I crashed a wedding this weekend! Yes, me! Living out one of my bucket list dreams of going to a wedding uninvited.

My friend Brandon’s friend was getting married. He texted me after dinner, once the dancing started. I threw on a dress and snuck in for the action (aka breaking it down to Remix to Ignition). I did not (and still do not) know the bride or the groom.

I would like to acknowledge that this would be much easier for a lady to do this on short notice, as opposed to a guy getting a shirt, tie and dress pants ironed and ready to go. I literally opened my closet, took out the first dress I saw, put it over my head and grabbed my sandals. Prep time was about two minutes. Besides, I didn’t want to look too good and draw attention.

Also, it’s fair of me to mention this was not my first wedding crashing attempt. Back in my college days (aka last spring), I belonged to a group who shared my goal. The eight of us Q’s really wanted to crash one together. I went as far as to call local venues pretending to be a bride asking if I could come see how the room was set up for weddings. I asked if they could tell me the date and time of the wedding so me and my (pretend) fiancee could just peek in and get a feel for the ballroom. Unfortunately, we never actually got our act together (yet).

This was pretty much not similar to my experience at all. Also, I did not pick anyone up.

Unlike in the movie, Wedding Crashers, I did not invent a great backstory or pretend to be related to anyone.  Instead, I did my best to blend in with the handful of people I knew there. Occasionally the bride came over and danced in our circle. One time she held eye contact for a few extra seconds, but not in an angry bridezilla way. It was more of a, “Oh shoot, should I know your name?”  I pulled a quick spin to break eye contact. Smooth, Shannon, smooth.

During the Cupid Shuffle the groom stepped on my feet about 73 times. That was less than great, but he never asked me who I was.

I didn’t go to be a menace or ruin the beautiful bride’s special day. I just wanted a little time on the dance floor, sue me. It was kind of a game to stay out of the way and off the radar.

About halfway through the dancing portion of the evening, Meatloaf’s Paradise by the Dashboard Lights played. Now, I realize I am one of three lucky children reared by Mark Whitney and Meatloaf’s Bat Out of Hell Vol. I & II (Two out of three ain’t bad #MeatloafJoke). Parents everywhere, take note, your kids should learn all of the words to this song by the time they are in high school. I know the message of the song isn’t exactly kid-friendly, but I didn’t realize that until way later.

My nervous face when the wedding party danced too close.

So back to the reception, Meatloaf comes on and I get really excited. The people I’m dancing with are all, “What is this?” I’m personally offended in their lack of culture. I turn around, and the bride’s extended family is all lined up. All the ladies on one side of the dance floor and the men on the other, singing the duet back and forth. It could have inspired a rom com (I can’t believe I just used the word “rom com,” gag). Grandma and grandpa were really getting into it. I was drooling and fully prepared to marry any eligible bachelor right there, on the spot to join that family.

Unfortunately, I did not. I just danced awkwardly on the outskirts as I witnessed what I will now call the “Meatloaf Miracle.”

Since I wasn’t invited, I didn’t eat dinner or even a piece of cake (not because I didn’t want to, sheer morals). I may have indulged in a few drinks at the open bar. Don’t worry, I put a few extra bucks in the basket at church the next morning to square up with God.

Overall, it was a great night. The dj’s were spinning my jams and I got to dance as well as accomplish a life goal. I also picked up the Wobble, which now beats the Cupid Shuffle in my book.

So if you want to invite me to your wedding to lead line dances and get the party started, get at me shannon.whitney@gmail.com. But really.

If you weren’t covered in sweat, you didn’t dance enough, or close enough to Pat.

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3 Responses to “Wedding Crasher & Meatloaf”

  1. AONeil June 11, 2012 at 6:13 pm #

    Sorry. You were a ‘plus one’ not a crasher. It must remain on your list, unchecked.

    • smwhitney June 11, 2012 at 7:04 pm #

      But I wasn’t rsvp’d and I did not know them… Doesn’t that count for something??

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Summer Superlatives « call me shannon - August 31, 2012

    […] Dancer: Me, clearly. This weekend will mark my sixth wedding since Memorial Day, including one crashed one. Luckily, I love […]

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