Running through my mind

29 May

It’s interesting to talk to other people who like to run for fitness or whatever, and compare what we listen to and think about while we’re jogging (say it with a silent J). Some people are all about the music, and usually a very specific genre and others can’t run with head phones at all.

I’m usually listening to music or a podcast (This American Life or the Moth) as I run. Especially, if it’s music, I’m not concentrating very hard. My mind wonders and sometimes I get mentally confrontational with my problems. Sometimes I get mentally confrontational with people who are bothering me as well. Luckily, I run my aggression out and try to let it go. I also have been known to draft blog posts in my head.

My all-time favorite running past-time is making appearances on my favorite talk shows, namely Ellen and Oprah (I know, her show is over, bummer). Ellen usually invites me on to talk about my latest book or my blog and we laugh and surprise each other.

She asks me questions and there is always a great audience giveaway, like home-made pot holders or roller skates or a car. She flashes my childhood photos on the big screen for the audience to ohh and ahh over. I tell hilarious childhood stories and Ellen and all her viewers with they were part of my family.

While all of this is going on in my head, my right knee is beginning to feel a little achey and I start up a hill.

I’m the only thing missing in this picture.

By this time my half of the interview is over and it’s time for Ellen to introduce her next guest of the day. Guess who it is… BEYONCE! I sit on the chair next to Beyonce (sometimes she asks me to hold baby Blue),  and laugh at her jokes. My hair and legs look pathetic next to the most perfect woman alive, but I don’t care.

She tells me that I’m an inspiration to her and I stop drooling for one second to tell her that she is MY hero. Ellen joins us for a group hug, but we’re careful not to squish the baby.

Next, Ellan asks Beyonce to sing Love on Top. She humbly agrees, but only if I will join her back up dancers. Polietly, I say, “Absofreakingloutely” and the video becomes viral on the internet by the next morning.

The next day, Beyonce usually calls me to go on tour with her and manage her social media, but other times she just calls to see if I can watch Blue during the Grammys. I say yes either way.

While I run I get upstaged by Beyonce and I’m totally ok with it. By this time I’m back at home and switching between laying on the floor and stretching on the floor. Sometimes they look uncannily alike.

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