Things I’ve learned from songs

26 Jan

Musicans have some artistic license, but they forget how impressionable I am.

TLC’s No Scrubs. To begin, I now know what a scrub is (also know as a buster). Also, I learned to beware of guys who hang out the passenger side of their best friend’s ride while trying to holler at me. Really, get your own ride, or at least some independence. Chilli, Left Eye and T-boz are telling me that if still leaning on his parents, we got issues.

Carrie Underwood’s Think Before He Cheats. It’s ok to bang up his car a little if he cheats. Hear that boys? Also, don’t play pool with other girls, I’ll find out.

Spice Girls’ Wanna Be. If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends. I think that speaks for itself. If he doesn’t get along with my friends, that’s not ok.

R.Kelly’s Remix to Ignition. There’s ALWAYS an after party, probably in a hotel. If you don’t know about it, it doesn’t look like you’re invited.

J.Giles Band’s Angel in the Centerfold. Sometimes people take alternative life paths, that’s ok.

Beyonce’s Irreplaceble. No one is irreplaceable, especially that jerk you showered with gifts. You deserve the best and you have the power to tell him to get out.

Kanye’s Gold Digger. Uggh, you know I hate admitting that I learned a life lesson from Kanye, but here I’ll say two: paternity tests and prenups (yeaaaah).

Elton John’s Crocodile Rock. The music of our wild, teen years will eventually die and new, more hip, less good music will replace it. Even that old gold chevy.

Alanis Morssette’s Ironic.  Life is sometimes a bummer, butter plan for that traffic jam and carry an extra knife.

Ke$ha’s We R Who We R. Glitter is a necessity for a good night.

Katy Perry’s The One That Got Away.  Don’t get a matching tattoo with any boyfriend. He’ll get his removed and you’ll just look like a fool.

Lady Gaga’s Born This Way. Corny as it sounds, you have to love Gaga’s equality message. Baby I was worn this way.

Nelly’s Ride Wit Me. When people who doubted your success from the beginning ask you fo’ dough, yell, “I can’t hear ya!”

I’m exhausted. Maybe a followup post to come. What have you learned from songs? Post in the comments! C’mon people! I want to know!

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