Several Dolla City

15 Dec

Ah finally a post I can categorize as “Travel”!! I haven’t done that in a while. Last weekend I had an epic adventure deep in the bible belt while searching for some Christmas cheer.

We caravan-ed down to Springfield to stay with Stef with an F’s family and visit Silver Dollar City, aka Disney for hoosiers, in nearby Branson, aka the Las Vegas of Missouri only smaller, jankier and much more country. Think less topless women and even less teeth. Ok, I’m done hating on Branson, it’s a special place and I think everyone should visit once as a child and once during Christmas. Then as many times as you want on senior citizen bus trips.

This trip will seem confusing to outsiders because there were two Steph(f)anies and two Alexs. And each Stef(ph)anie is dating an Alex. Oh and then one Josh and one Shannon, PTL. Try to stick with me.

One Alex, who’s last name is a color between black and white, does not love amusement parks. I’ll leave his last name out for privacy reasons. He was not thrilled about spending Saturday at Silver Dollar City, but he was a trooper and held the purses that one time we ALMOST rode a ride.

We got to the park around 1pm and it was already crowded. So many strollers, people eating turkey legs and workers in period costume. We headed straight for the first open ride- a swing thing. Alex Black/White stayed back and the rest of us lined up. We waited 45 minutes while listening to the Glee Christmas cd piped into the waiting maze.

Next thing you know, we’re next in line. Like I’m literally leaning on the gate that opens to the loading zone. The guy working the roller coaster, you know, the one who presses buttons, is approached by his coworker who is dressed in a frumpy pioneer outfit and elf hat. She says, “We have a 10-66, make the announcement.”

He picks up what looks like a CB radio and comes over the voice of God telling us the ride is temporarily closed and we should exit the way we entered. Stunned. What? But we were NEXT in line. We waited all that time for nothing?

Wrong, all that waiting was not in vain. We learned the carnie code for “someone vomited and we need to close the ride to clean it up”- 10-66. So, the next time you’re trying to impress a special someone who works at an amusement park, specifically Silver Dollar City, go ahead and drop that bomb. If ZZ Top beards are your thing, you’re welcome.

Adding a little “medicine” to our hot chocolate…

We did get to ride Wildfire, Fire in the Hole and Thunderation. We also drank buckets of hot chocolate, saw a Jesus puppet and ate delicious and not nutritious food. Stef with an F’s mom snuck in a flask of peppermint schnapps to “warm up” our hot coca. I’m not even joking.

Once the sun went down, the park becomes a whole new place. There are Christmas lights on every surface and the huge tree in the entrance does light shows to holiday tunes. It really is magical!

So much Christmas spirit.

In the style of Disney World, there is a parade with dancing characters (elves and ginger bread men, not Disney). It ends with a rolling nativity scene with a moving angel. The jury is still out to whether or not the angel was a person or a mannequin. You need to see it for yourself.

At one point our group was weaving through the hillbillies, lost children and neglectful parents when Alex of Swedish decent and Josh started singing a heart-wrenching falsetto rendition of Silent Night. Not to my surprise, they were actually pretty good and had a little harmony going. All of the people we passed thought the nursing home choir was on tour.

Swedish Alex gnaws a turkey leg

Once our snapps blankets began to wear off, we decided to head home. So did about 10,000 other people. Steph with a PH gallantly led our group through the throngs of tourists to the parking lot. On the way Alex Black/White passed some gas that could have killed a fragile baby. We seriously almost 10-66’d. Seriously.

The night ended with a very sleepy viewing of Home Alone. I think I feel asleep before Catherine O’Hara even realized Kevin was missing. Worst mom ever.

The next morning involved lessons from Stef with an F’s dad on the crossbow. We are now all prepared for a zombie apocalypse. Such a great weekend!


One Response to “Several Dolla City”


  1. Search Terms « call me shannon - February 22, 2012

    […] a turkey leg- I did blog about this in my Silver Dollar City post, so it is justified. Because when you think of Shannon, you think turkey […]

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