Wild ‘Mmercia

9 Sep

Look mom, I

In true American fashion, I spent Labor Day camping, boating and drinking Miller High Life Light. Josh and I talked about camping over the summer and we decided to make it happen. With his boat, my motherly skills and four other friends, we took off for Mark Twain Lake in Hannibal, Mo.

Naturally, when we got there on Saturday night (in the dark of course) it was storming. Erin and Mark beat us there, staked out a campsite and pitched half of their tent before the rain got crazy. When the rain slowed down we got the tents up and started a fire.

Yes, this was real-deal camping. No showers, no bathroom (close), no washing your hands, cooking on a campfire and sleeping in tents, on the ground. None of that sissy RV stuff for us, mainly because we don’t have a friend with an RV.

We spent all day Sunday on the lake after a charming breakfast of eggs and bacon. The only thing that would have made it more charming is if I would have remembered cooking utensils. The plastic forks worked ok except that after a few minutes on the fire they melted.

It was my first time on Mark Twain Lake and I was surprised by how EMPTY it was! My family really likes Table Rock, which I’m sure was choppy on a holiday weekend. Mark Twain has undeveloped shoes, like Table Rock with out a touristy town, like Branson, nearby.


All six of us successfully fit on the five person bass boat, along with a cooler, a tube, skis and a lot of animal crackers. We introduced our token city girl, Erin, to the proper etiquette of peeing in the lake (Michelle also learned to use the wild outdoors as her restroom). Josh and Brandon perfected their rural Missourah accents and coined our slogan: “WWJD- What Would Junior Do?” This was a decision-maker more than once.

After maybe one or two too many Mike’s Hard Lemonades, Brandon reverted to his six-year-old self. He climbed onto the rocky shore to skip rocks which sorta worked. After a while, he got bored and started throwing bigger rocks into the lake, you know, to watch them sink. So we took a little boat ride, and then Josh dropped off Mark, Brandon and I so the others could go look for the missing ski ( RIP to that ski and the wheel on the boat trailer). We swam near the shore and Brandon once agin swam over to throw rocks in the water. Then he saw a dead, fallen tree halfway up the hill. Then he found a stick to use as a lever. Then he rolled the whole tree into the water to our cheers. This may have been the crowning glory and I’m honored to have witnessed the moment Brandon became a man.

Brandon also reenacted the alternative to Noah’s Ark in animal crackers on the lake. Which was fun until the lake-gulls (not to be confused with seagulls or bagels) showed up to eat us. Ok, they only ate the crackers, but I was nervous.

Don’t think this whole camping trip was all fun and games, we honored America, too. Josh, Brandon and I sang a lot of patriotic music on the boat, including Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue. I wore my American flag bikini proudly. The only thing missing was a fireworks display from Will.

The boat did not have a ladder, so we spent a lot of labor day weekend laboring back in the boat for refills and animal crackers. I think my biceps grew two inches in one day. Everyone went home with a complimentary sunburn, a small price to pay for a great lake day.

I also tried to back the boat trailer into the lake. But that’s another blog post for another day.

Back at the campsite, Erin cooked us delicious tacos and we sat around the fire listening to Josh talk about Apollo 13 and watching Brandon set everything he could pick up on fire.

It was just like that episode of Sarah Palin’s Alaska when Kate Goseling and her 654 kids (ok, only 8 ) go camping with the Palins. Kate is a party pooper (who’s surprised?) but the nature-deprived kids LOVE it. Our trip did not have a Kate (PTL). We did have some nature deprived kids and rain. The moral of the story is everyone had fun. Oh, and Josh “Grizzlybear” Heffernan opened a can of beans with just a pocket knife.*


*Josh really wanted me to include that.


One Response to “Wild ‘Mmercia”


  1. Search Terms « call me shannon - February 22, 2012

    […] This is a legit term. I did blog about drinking Miller High Life Lights (aka the low life) in my camping post. Still, such a minor mention, but someone still found […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: